Stars: They're NOT Omnipotent!! (WHAT??)

You know how in gossip magazines they have that section called something like Stars: They're Just Like Us? I would like to discuss that for a moment. I find it highly ridiculous. There's a picture of some celeb doing something mundane with an excited caption like "They drink coffee in the morning!!" WOW! What a revelation! And here I thought they recharged like a battery. Okay but the worst one I ever saw was a few years ago and it was so stupid that I can never forget it. The caption read "They step over puddles!!" Let's pause for a moment to think about the question that surely popped into all of our heads: "Are you freaking kidding me??" Apparently our reaction is supposed to be astonishment, as if we all think celebrities find themselves too important to be inconvenienced by lowly puddles and they expect them to move from under their feet. But no! Now (thank goodness) we know that they, too, have to step over puddles and so they are JUST LIKE US! This is really good for my self esteem. But only for the reason that I realize I don't have such a stupid job as running that section of the magazine. I can imagine the board meetings:

Boss: Here we have a picture of Jennifer Aniston getting her hair cut. Can anyone think of a really exciting caption?

*long pause*

Bill: How about....They get their nails done!

Greg: That may work, but what about....They get their.....hair...............cut?

Boss: Genious! Nice work Greg, you'll be getting a hefty bonus this year! Great meeting everyone, see you next week.


....please spare me. Nobody should care that Orlando Bloom ties his own shoes. I am indeed aware that celebrities are, for the most part, HUMAN BEINGS. How about you people get a life, and maybe some real jobs while you're at it. Perhaps you could photograph celebrities at their worst so we can gawk at them.....


Don't get me started on that....